(no subject)

[darchildre]

Conversations with people that I don't know intimately are fairly difficult for me. They feel...slippery, like I'm walking on ice and may fall over at any moment. I often feel as though I'm only barely holding on to the actual subject of conversation, that I'm mildly misinterpreting everything the other person says, that we are not, in truth, communicating.*

This is, really, a large part of why I don't like talking to people. It's because conversation is an activity that I constantly feel I'm getting wrong.

So when you get me plus those people men, it's almost always men, who seem like they're constantly laughing and trying to make a joke about everything and deliberately won't tell me things that I need to know in order to advance the conversation or take care of whatever the hell they want from me...

It's like I've fallen over on the ice and not only are they not helping me up but they're watching and laughing and possibly pushing me over again. It is frustrating and embarrassing and infuriating. Especially when they end the conversation by saying something like, "You can take a deep breath now - I'm leaving." So you know what you're doing, you know that you're making me uncomfortable and flustered and embarrassed and you keep doing it anyway. And you're laughing at me about it.

So, in conclusion, fuck you, sir. You're an asshole and I hope you get lice.





*Online communication is sometimes easier and sometimes not. Because I can reread the text I'm responding to and respond to it at my leisure, but there are obvious tone and bodily and facial components to conversation that are missing. Still, text is generally easier for me.

Comments

[darchildre]

Thanks very much.