(no subject)

[darchildre]

Today, it is one of my coworkers' birthday. She hadn't told any of us, but my manager apparently found out somehow (how? I don't know), and then told another coworkers. Who then bought pastries and wrote "Happy Birthday, [Coworker]!" on the box and told everyone else. Birthday!Coworker came in after everyone else and got greeted by a bunch of people excitedly saying "Happy Birthday!" at her - she keeps saying, "I usually try not to let people know it's my birthday," and everyone else keeps ignoring it.

That's fucked up, right? I mean, it's not just me who thinks that's fucked up, is it? Birthday!Coworker is being very gracious and doesn't seem upset, fortunately, but the whole situation is weird. Also, the pastries are more than we've ever done for a birthday in this branch before.

This is why I always take my birthday off.

Comments

[corvidology]

I have a bunch of colleagues who make a point of 'casually' letting us know it's their birthday about a week out from it so obviously want it recognized.

Meanwhile, I never tell anyone at work when my birthday is. I love celebrating the birthdays of my loved ones but I've never particularly cared about my own and don't enjoy the fuss.

[james]

I always take my birthday off as well! At my store they will wish Happy Birthday over the walkie All Fucking Day Long.

If I had been your co-worker I would have said "I don't tell people my birthday because my grandfather/father died on my birthday and I have been trying to just get through the day and now I need to go home because I am devastated."

Or as much of that as I could say with a straight face.

[silveradept]

That's absolutely fucked up. As in, someone has at and is asking their preferences and boundaries, and everyone else in the office is ignoring it because they believe they know better.

I would be very concerned that the work location is likely to do the same thing on other issues, and they probably also think it's fine because the people there doing it to are required to be gracious about it last they be seen as "uppity" or "ungrateful."

[tricksters_queen]

That is, without a doubt, incredibly fucked up.

I don't really care one way or another about my birthday. It's a pleasant surprise when people remember it. It's not even on my mind when people don't. I never request my birthday off, and honestly, it's because I...just don't care? Huzzah, me, managing another turn around the sun?

But for someone who specifically doesn't like to make a big deal out of their birthday? Like... they are telling you to stop when they say that. That's not the same as my complete indifference.

This is also why I have birthdays in my phone calendar, and I usually just text message someone, where it's private, rather than posting on their Facebook wall or some such thing, where it's public. It's not that I don't care about other folk's birthdays...I just... don't like the public wall declaration thing?

Sorry, this got slightly rant-y. TLDR: You're correct.