(no subject)

[darchildre]

One of my least favorite patrons is in today: this lady.

She has become a much less regular regular in the past few years and I haven't been sad to see her go, because after that conversation, once a few weeks had passed, she continued to regularly call me terrible pet names. It still irritates me but I have tried to let it go. She's an old lady and set in her (terrible) ways. I assumed that she had forgotten about that (absurdly insulting) conversation.

Today, in less than an hour, she has called me "honey", "sweetie", "love", "darling", and (a new low) "baby heart". I hate it but I've been trying hard to let all the stupid names slide off me and not let how much I hate them show on my face as I'm interacting with her. I work in customer service and I privately believe that hospitality is the highest of virtues. But I guess I let some emotion slip on "baby heart" because she looked at me and said, "You're just too young for me to call you 'ma'am', honey."

So, you know that I dislike this. You remember that I don't like when you call me terrible pet names and that I've asked you to stop. But you've decided that you can't use my name - which you absolutely know - and you can't use the terms that society has invented to speak to someone with respect when you're not using a name*, because your pleasure in what you call me outweighs my preference. And you've decided to tell me about your awful decision in a way that further diminishes me.

I am a grown adult, rapidly approaching 40. If I had chosen to, I might have adolescent children by now. I realize that I can't escape being called demeaning things by strangers entirely because I look like a woman but gods, surely there must come a time when they stop excusing themselves by mentioning my "youth".







*Even if you think I'm "too young" to be called ma'am, what the hell is wrong with "miss"?

Comments

[wanderingnork]

Wow. This is...an impossible level of nonsense this woman has thrown at you. I'm really sorry about that. She sounds the worst kind of person. :|

Where in the actual hell did she get baby heart??? That is just. Inane.

[raveninthewind]

She's being a bitch on purpose. She could just call you "miss" if she can't treat you like an adult.

*sigh* Old people have personality disorder, too.

[willidan]

I don't have to work with patrons anymore, but when I had to sit at the desk I was snapped at, called darling, sweetheart, and even called red once by an old man who refused to leave his seat. I hated all of it. Good luck with the rude woman.

[frenchroast]

Wow. Just...wow. I mean, I can handle a certain amount of being called "pet names"--I don't like them, but they get a lot more use where I live and I know it's not meant to be rude, it's more a filler when you don't know someone's name, so I'm used to tuning them out. BUT for someone to outright acknowledge that they remember you don't want to be called by one, they know your name, and yet STILL KEEP DOING IT? WTF. There is no excuse. That's just jackass bitchery right there.

I mean, just...ugh. I'm sorry you have to deal with people who can't treat you like a fellow adult.

[corvidology]

I know why you can't do it but try coming up with a few pet names for her. Sometimes just using them in the privacy of your own mind can be amusing.

Or just do it. I suggest "dearie."

[tricksters_queen]

I almost let loose a rage-scream reading this (at work.) The level of ENTITLEMENT on this bitch! FOH with that!

I am so, SO sorry that you have to deal with someone who thinks that their want to speak to you in a way that is infantilizing is more important than your need to be addressed with respect. It makes me especially angry that she intentionally let you know that she remembers the conversation where you politely told her that you don't like it (and holy hell, it was fucking rude BEFORE that anyway!) and basically she wants you to know that she enjoys being a horrible, disrespectful, rude bitch to anyone who is helping her.

I am very good at my job...but I'm pretty sure my eyes narrow when someone who doesn't know me uses a pet name for me, even if my smile stays plastered on my face.

Love you. <3

[silveradept]

If it wouldn't be entirely the wrong thing to do, it would be helpful to call her whatever demeaning name you wanted to call her for being an older woman every time she comes in.