![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Mar. 11th, 2022 01:19 pmIt is important to celebrate small victories:
I had a work task due today that I had been putting off because it made me very anxious. And the reason that it made me anxious was that I didn't understand what my supervisor wanted out of it and, of course, having to ask for clarification also made me anxious*.
But! After too much agonizing, I finally sent my supervisor an email saying, "Hey, can you give me a better idea of what you want out of this because I'm not sure I understand". And we had a chat about it, which was perfectly fine, and I did not die or get in trouble or whatever my brain thought the result of this was going to be, and the work task is now finished, so I have nothing to worry about for the rest of the day. And tomorrow is the weekend.
I will buy myself a cookie when I do my shopping this evening as a reward.
*Understand: this is just my brain. My supervisor is very nice and has no problem with people asking clarifying questions. My brain just tends to make me feel that a failure to understand a task is always and entirely my fault and also that asking about it is Admitting That I'm Not Good Enough which will inevitably lead to Getting In Trouble. I know this is nonsense, but knowing does not stop the production of anxiety chemicals.
I had a work task due today that I had been putting off because it made me very anxious. And the reason that it made me anxious was that I didn't understand what my supervisor wanted out of it and, of course, having to ask for clarification also made me anxious*.
But! After too much agonizing, I finally sent my supervisor an email saying, "Hey, can you give me a better idea of what you want out of this because I'm not sure I understand". And we had a chat about it, which was perfectly fine, and I did not die or get in trouble or whatever my brain thought the result of this was going to be, and the work task is now finished, so I have nothing to worry about for the rest of the day. And tomorrow is the weekend.
I will buy myself a cookie when I do my shopping this evening as a reward.
*Understand: this is just my brain. My supervisor is very nice and has no problem with people asking clarifying questions. My brain just tends to make me feel that a failure to understand a task is always and entirely my fault and also that asking about it is Admitting That I'm Not Good Enough which will inevitably lead to Getting In Trouble. I know this is nonsense, but knowing does not stop the production of anxiety chemicals.
