![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Oct. 6th, 2021 08:01 amNothing quite like getting 90% finished with a knitted sock and then deciding that, actually, you hate everything about the way it looks, and ripping the whole damn thing out to start again.
Oct. 6th, 2021
(no subject)
Oct. 6th, 2021 12:11 pmHad a late start back to work this morning because I went to get a flu shot first and I'm all thrown off because of it.
I also realized that, because of All of the Everything, my life has changed so that I basically don't do most of things that used to aggravate my anxiety: I only go about four places, I talk to the same people over and over, I'm not put into situations where I don't know the rules or what to expect.
But the flu shot was:
1) Going to a place and not knowing precisely where I was meant to be.
2) Talking to strangers.
3) A situation where I got the rules wrong because no one had told me it was a drive up thing until I had gotten out of my car and gone to what looked like a sign up table. (Also, when I got there, they didn't say, "Oh just wait in your car" - they gave me a form to fill out and let me stand there for five minutes before telling me to get back in my car, so this confusion was not my fault.)
And this is all silly stuff to continue to feel anxious about, except that my body is no longer used to habitually being anxious about stuff like this, so the reaction is lasting longer. Which fucking sucks.
Also I think they forgot to give me my insurance card back and I was so flustered that I didn't notice until I got to work. So now I have to figure out how to retrieve it or get a new one, which is just more anxiety. Ugh.
I also realized that, because of All of the Everything, my life has changed so that I basically don't do most of things that used to aggravate my anxiety: I only go about four places, I talk to the same people over and over, I'm not put into situations where I don't know the rules or what to expect.
But the flu shot was:
1) Going to a place and not knowing precisely where I was meant to be.
2) Talking to strangers.
3) A situation where I got the rules wrong because no one had told me it was a drive up thing until I had gotten out of my car and gone to what looked like a sign up table. (Also, when I got there, they didn't say, "Oh just wait in your car" - they gave me a form to fill out and let me stand there for five minutes before telling me to get back in my car, so this confusion was not my fault.)
And this is all silly stuff to continue to feel anxious about, except that my body is no longer used to habitually being anxious about stuff like this, so the reaction is lasting longer. Which fucking sucks.
Also I think they forgot to give me my insurance card back and I was so flustered that I didn't notice until I got to work. So now I have to figure out how to retrieve it or get a new one, which is just more anxiety. Ugh.