![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Mar. 7th, 2019 01:31 pmOne of my least favorite patrons is in today: this lady.
She has become a much less regular regular in the past few years and I haven't been sad to see her go, because after that conversation, once a few weeks had passed, she continued to regularly call me terrible pet names. It still irritates me but I have tried to let it go. She's an old lady and set in her (terrible) ways. I assumed that she had forgotten about that (absurdly insulting) conversation.
Today, in less than an hour, she has called me "honey", "sweetie", "love", "darling", and (a new low) "baby heart". I hate it but I've been trying hard to let all the stupid names slide off me and not let how much I hate them show on my face as I'm interacting with her. I work in customer service and I privately believe that hospitality is the highest of virtues. But I guess I let some emotion slip on "baby heart" because she looked at me and said, "You're just too young for me to call you 'ma'am', honey."
So, you know that I dislike this. You remember that I don't like when you call me terrible pet names and that I've asked you to stop. But you've decided that you can't use my name - which you absolutely know - and you can't use the terms that society has invented to speak to someone with respect when you're not using a name*, because your pleasure in what you call me outweighs my preference. And you've decided to tell me about your awful decision in a way that further diminishes me.
I am a grown adult, rapidly approaching 40. If I had chosen to, I might have adolescent children by now. I realize that I can't escape being called demeaning things by strangers entirely because I look like a woman but gods, surely there must come a time when they stop excusing themselves by mentioning my "youth".
*Even if you think I'm "too young" to be called ma'am, what the hell is wrong with "miss"?
She has become a much less regular regular in the past few years and I haven't been sad to see her go, because after that conversation, once a few weeks had passed, she continued to regularly call me terrible pet names. It still irritates me but I have tried to let it go. She's an old lady and set in her (terrible) ways. I assumed that she had forgotten about that (absurdly insulting) conversation.
Today, in less than an hour, she has called me "honey", "sweetie", "love", "darling", and (a new low) "baby heart". I hate it but I've been trying hard to let all the stupid names slide off me and not let how much I hate them show on my face as I'm interacting with her. I work in customer service and I privately believe that hospitality is the highest of virtues. But I guess I let some emotion slip on "baby heart" because she looked at me and said, "You're just too young for me to call you 'ma'am', honey."
So, you know that I dislike this. You remember that I don't like when you call me terrible pet names and that I've asked you to stop. But you've decided that you can't use my name - which you absolutely know - and you can't use the terms that society has invented to speak to someone with respect when you're not using a name*, because your pleasure in what you call me outweighs my preference. And you've decided to tell me about your awful decision in a way that further diminishes me.
I am a grown adult, rapidly approaching 40. If I had chosen to, I might have adolescent children by now. I realize that I can't escape being called demeaning things by strangers entirely because I look like a woman but gods, surely there must come a time when they stop excusing themselves by mentioning my "youth".
*Even if you think I'm "too young" to be called ma'am, what the hell is wrong with "miss"?
