(no subject)

[darchildre]

Dear Patrons,

Please don't call me "sweetie". Or "sweetheart". Or "hon". Or any other diminutive nickname that may occur to you. You don't know me, you don't get to call me that.

I realize that I don't wear a nametag (because I don't like people knowing my name if I don't know theirs). I realize that this means you don't know my name. That's cool - I don't know yours either. You might notice that, in those situations where I have to call you something, I use "sir" or "ma'am". You can feel free to call me "miss". Or "ma'am", if you like that better. Because those are respectful terms of address and not ridiculous overly familiar condescending nonsense.

Thank you.

Comments

[nan]

I slip and call people sweetheart and darling. D:

[darchildre]

I don't mind it when it's people I know but somehow, when it's patrons, it really grates on me.

It's probably due to the power differential that already exists between patron/customer and staff. The diminutive just accentuates that, I guess, and bothers me.

[nan]

Oh, I usually do it at work. XD When I'm trying to help someone, you know? "Here, darling, let me get that for you" or something like that. It's weird because I don't really know how this habit came about but it has. And I'm someone who really doesn't like pet names (from men, anyway. Women are okay!).

[amethystfirefly]

As a bit of a devil's advocate... I know I "sweetie" and "hon" people when I'm nervous. It's kind of an unconscious tic. Maybe the patron was overly nervous for some weird reason?

[darchildre]

That is possible, of course. Which is why I don't actually tell people not to do it. I just seethe about it later in private, because it makes me very uncomfortable.

[amethystfirefly]

Oh, I totally understand. I try to limit it whenever I notice myself slipping because I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with that.

[ex_pippin880]

My dad calls unfamiliar women "Pat".

I also have an aunt called Pat so it gets confusing sometimes.

[willidan]

I had a patron who used to snap his fingers at me and called me "red". I hate that nickname more than anything. I ignored him completely and broke him of that habit. He doesn't come around anymore, but I'm sure he's found another redheaded librarian to annoy.