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Feb. 9th, 2020 09:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
darchildreA complaint about a very stupid thing:
My dad has been keeping a sourdough starter for a couple months now and making things with it. That's great! Yesterday, he decided this meant he should make sourdough pancakes for breakfast for all of us this morning.
And that's a lovely thought but I am a person who is very attached to certain routines, and my morning routine is one of the ones that I feel most out of sorts when it gets disrupted. I get up between 6:30 and 7, breakfast is at 7:30 on the dot, I've eaten the same thing nearly every morning since I was 13, I'm done with the dishes by 8, and then the rest of the day starts.
But if I have to eat breakfast with other people, that means things start later, and the food is different (and probably sweeter/richer than I'd prefer at breakfast), and I wasn't done with the dishes till 8:45. And now, even though I don't have anywhere I need to be today, I still feel like I'm running late and everything is wrong.
The problem is, when someone proposes that we have a special family breakfast, I have two choices. I can 1) agree and feel vaguely upset and anxious for at least half the day or 2) decline and deal with the fallout from their hurt feelings. (My dad is lovely but if he wants to do something he thinks you ought to enjoy and you decline, he gets pouty and cantankerous.) There are no good choices, so I usually end up doing the thing that only hurts me. And it sucks every time.
Really, shared meal times were a mistake.
My dad has been keeping a sourdough starter for a couple months now and making things with it. That's great! Yesterday, he decided this meant he should make sourdough pancakes for breakfast for all of us this morning.
And that's a lovely thought but I am a person who is very attached to certain routines, and my morning routine is one of the ones that I feel most out of sorts when it gets disrupted. I get up between 6:30 and 7, breakfast is at 7:30 on the dot, I've eaten the same thing nearly every morning since I was 13, I'm done with the dishes by 8, and then the rest of the day starts.
But if I have to eat breakfast with other people, that means things start later, and the food is different (and probably sweeter/richer than I'd prefer at breakfast), and I wasn't done with the dishes till 8:45. And now, even though I don't have anywhere I need to be today, I still feel like I'm running late and everything is wrong.
The problem is, when someone proposes that we have a special family breakfast, I have two choices. I can 1) agree and feel vaguely upset and anxious for at least half the day or 2) decline and deal with the fallout from their hurt feelings. (My dad is lovely but if he wants to do something he thinks you ought to enjoy and you decline, he gets pouty and cantankerous.) There are no good choices, so I usually end up doing the thing that only hurts me. And it sucks every time.
Really, shared meal times were a mistake.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-10 03:48 pm (UTC)