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Apr. 12th, 2020 08:26 amI have been awake for an hour and a half and am already having a bad day, due to some Bad Emotions I had before bed last night. They are stupid Bad Emotions, wherein I am overreacting to things*, and I assumed they would be gone by this morning (because I assume that my body and brain should work on D&D rules and heal all damage over a long rest) but no, they are not.
Today, I am supposed to play remote D&D with my sister and her husband but I really want to cancel. I don't want to have to perform enjoyment of a game that I'm (temporarily) not enjoying. But on the other hand, they had to cancel last week and I'm afraid that if I cancel today, we will lose momentum and just never play again. I'm always the one who has to chivvy them into committing to plans and remind them that those plans are happening and chase them up when they don't commit, because they refuse to respond in a timely manner to any form of communication I've tried, and I don't want to have to put more work into it than I already do because having to constantly do that sort of thing already makes me feel bad.
Maybe I will cancel but proactively propose a makeup day on Wednesday or something.
*I had a remote movie night with my sisters and one of them said a thing that was meant to be teasing but hit me really badly and has spiraled into "everyone thinks I'm stupid and irritating and no one cares about me as a person but only as someone who can do beneficial things for them sometimes". Which is manifestly not true and I do know that, but my brain is still reacting badly to it.
Today, I am supposed to play remote D&D with my sister and her husband but I really want to cancel. I don't want to have to perform enjoyment of a game that I'm (temporarily) not enjoying. But on the other hand, they had to cancel last week and I'm afraid that if I cancel today, we will lose momentum and just never play again. I'm always the one who has to chivvy them into committing to plans and remind them that those plans are happening and chase them up when they don't commit, because they refuse to respond in a timely manner to any form of communication I've tried, and I don't want to have to put more work into it than I already do because having to constantly do that sort of thing already makes me feel bad.
Maybe I will cancel but proactively propose a makeup day on Wednesday or something.
*I had a remote movie night with my sisters and one of them said a thing that was meant to be teasing but hit me really badly and has spiraled into "everyone thinks I'm stupid and irritating and no one cares about me as a person but only as someone who can do beneficial things for them sometimes". Which is manifestly not true and I do know that, but my brain is still reacting badly to it.
