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Feb. 23rd, 2013 10:54 amEurgh.
So, my aunt (who is visiting - did I mention that?) is making dinner tonight. Which is a very nice thing for her to do. But it means, because she is not often here and therefore does not know about all of my myriad weirdnesses, that we have to keep having the Food Conversation.
Oh, how I hate the Food Conversation! It is always so awkward because the list of things I do not eat is huge and ridiculous, and it makes me want to hide in a hole and tell people that they don't have to cook for me at all, it's fine, I will just have a sandwich, really, I like sandwiches. I am just entirely uncomfortable with people making a fuss on my behalf, or being the center of attention in any way. (The vast majority of my social anxiety issues can be summed up as "Someone is looking at me, how do I make them stop?") The worst part is that the people who are trying to accommodate me are doing so because they care about me and want me to be happy and so asking them not to is weird and rude and ungrateful.
It doesn't help that today is shaping up to be one of those days where I really wish I could photosynthesize or take a food pill* or something, rather than have to deal with actual food products because almost all of them are completely unappealing. This whole week has been like that, really - I still eat, of course, because I get hungry but the food is just something to put in my mouth as fuel and I eat less of it than usual and when people ask me what I want to eat I have no answers because oh god, really, food again? Is this a thing we have to do? There is so much preparation involved, and conversations about preparation, and then you have to sit down and eat when you could be doing something else, and then there is clean up, and then we have to think about the next meal.
Food = tedious and often disgusting and fraught with emotional whatsit. Grar. Sometimes, I really wish I was a robot.
*Man, I want sci-fi food pills. Not every day - there are lots of days when I am totally pro-foodstuffs and would like to eat actual things - but for days like today, it would be so nice to just be able to take and pill three times a day and be done with it. I just wish I had the option.
So, my aunt (who is visiting - did I mention that?) is making dinner tonight. Which is a very nice thing for her to do. But it means, because she is not often here and therefore does not know about all of my myriad weirdnesses, that we have to keep having the Food Conversation.
Oh, how I hate the Food Conversation! It is always so awkward because the list of things I do not eat is huge and ridiculous, and it makes me want to hide in a hole and tell people that they don't have to cook for me at all, it's fine, I will just have a sandwich, really, I like sandwiches. I am just entirely uncomfortable with people making a fuss on my behalf, or being the center of attention in any way. (The vast majority of my social anxiety issues can be summed up as "Someone is looking at me, how do I make them stop?") The worst part is that the people who are trying to accommodate me are doing so because they care about me and want me to be happy and so asking them not to is weird and rude and ungrateful.
It doesn't help that today is shaping up to be one of those days where I really wish I could photosynthesize or take a food pill* or something, rather than have to deal with actual food products because almost all of them are completely unappealing. This whole week has been like that, really - I still eat, of course, because I get hungry but the food is just something to put in my mouth as fuel and I eat less of it than usual and when people ask me what I want to eat I have no answers because oh god, really, food again? Is this a thing we have to do? There is so much preparation involved, and conversations about preparation, and then you have to sit down and eat when you could be doing something else, and then there is clean up, and then we have to think about the next meal.
Food = tedious and often disgusting and fraught with emotional whatsit. Grar. Sometimes, I really wish I was a robot.
*Man, I want sci-fi food pills. Not every day - there are lots of days when I am totally pro-foodstuffs and would like to eat actual things - but for days like today, it would be so nice to just be able to take and pill three times a day and be done with it. I just wish I had the option.
