(no subject)

So, y'know how sometimes you feel as though you ought to come with some kind of warning label, so that people know what they're getting into when they enter into conversation with you?

I sometimes think that (at least one of) mine should be "Warning: I will tell you the story of the Þrymskviða at the slightest provocation."

I mean, I think that people mostly enjoy it when it happens and it's not as though I start my day thinking, "Today I will tell people stories about Thor in a dress!" But it happens more often than is probably strictly necessary.

What warning labels do you think you ought to come with?

(no subject)

Dear library patron,

Probably, it was very nice of you to try to bring the library staff a snack. (You are kind of a creeper, but I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.) However:

a) We are not, as library employees, supposed to accept gifts from patrons unless they can be shared with the entire staff, and even then it's kinda iffy,

and b) That is pretty much the grossest looking pear I've seen in a long time. I mean, I'm pretty picky about fruit in general and about pears in particular - I can't stand soft mushy fruit and pears get that way really quickly - but I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have wanted to eat that pear anyway.

So I don't want your fruit and I can't take it anyway. Please don't try to argue with me when I say no. It's policy, I can't take the damned pear, why the hell are you fighting me on this?

This whole thing is really not leading me to re-evaluate thinking of you as a creeper.